1 00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:07,668 There is no god! 2 00:00:07,745 --> 00:00:10,647 [voice echoing] God, god, god... 3 00:00:10,723 --> 00:00:12,857 There is no Evan! 4 00:00:12,931 --> 00:00:15,499 [voice echoing] Evan, Evan, Evan... 5 00:00:15,574 --> 00:00:17,942 Hmm. Mo[bleep]. 6 00:00:18,016 --> 00:00:19,884 [video game music] 7 00:00:20,559 --> 00:00:23,662 1x03 - "Game Over" 8 00:00:25,638 --> 00:00:29,112 - Hey, guys, I'm little girl one one... - Six. 9 00:00:29,190 --> 00:00:33,393 Today I'm gonna make a tutorial on the cup song from "Pitch Prefect." 10 00:00:33,472 --> 00:00:35,673 So what you're gonna need is a flat surface, 11 00:00:35,747 --> 00:00:39,116 a cup, and your hands, and obviously yourself. 12 00:00:39,192 --> 00:00:40,559 [chuckling] 13 00:00:40,631 --> 00:00:46,503 Okay, so let's get started. Just follow my steps. 14 00:00:46,586 --> 00:00:52,124 I just blew your freakin' mind. Now try it yourself. 15 00:00:52,207 --> 00:00:53,140 [groans] 16 00:00:53,211 --> 00:00:56,213 [gentle guitar music] 17 00:01:00,236 --> 00:01:02,270 Hi. [yelps] 18 00:01:02,344 --> 00:01:04,778 What the hell? 19 00:01:04,853 --> 00:01:06,153 Hello? 20 00:01:06,225 --> 00:01:08,525 Why don't you ever take me out to dinner? 21 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:09,933 Since when can you talk? 22 00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:12,171 This is the first time I've officially spoken. 23 00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:14,847 - "Officially"? - I'm in love with you. 24 00:01:14,921 --> 00:01:16,289 What? You're not a person. 25 00:01:16,361 --> 00:01:18,995 - You're just a... - Just a what, Andrew? 26 00:01:19,070 --> 00:01:21,238 - How do you know my name? - Call me Veronica. 27 00:01:21,312 --> 00:01:23,780 Why don't you ever tell me how your day was? 28 00:01:23,854 --> 00:01:26,290 I don't know. I figured you wouldn't care. 29 00:01:26,364 --> 00:01:28,231 I... and you're not a real person! 30 00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:31,440 If I wasn't real, would I be able to do this? 31 00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:32,617 [laughs] 32 00:01:32,688 --> 00:01:34,522 [moaning] 33 00:01:39,745 --> 00:01:42,447 There's more where that came from. 34 00:01:42,522 --> 00:01:45,225 - Now let's go to dinner. - Anywhere you want. 35 00:01:45,299 --> 00:01:47,300 [phone ringing] 36 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:51,844 - Triptank. - Hi. I am so glad you answered the phone. 37 00:01:51,924 --> 00:01:53,524 I just... I have to tell you I love your show. 38 00:01:53,596 --> 00:01:55,898 No, I mean, I love it. Like... 39 00:01:55,972 --> 00:01:59,774 like, every fiber of my being wants your comedy inside of me. 40 00:01:59,851 --> 00:02:02,220 I want to massage your jokes with my tongue 41 00:02:02,294 --> 00:02:06,130 and feel the laughter spilling out over and over again. 42 00:02:06,208 --> 00:02:08,476 Length is just not that important. 43 00:02:08,550 --> 00:02:10,484 [video game whirring] 44 00:02:10,557 --> 00:02:11,557 [alarm clock ringing] 45 00:02:11,627 --> 00:02:13,495 Yah. What a headache. 46 00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:17,704 Who am I? I-I don't remember anything! 47 00:02:17,784 --> 00:02:20,185 Waaah! 48 00:02:20,258 --> 00:02:21,658 A table! A note! 49 00:02:21,730 --> 00:02:22,830 "dear Randy... " 50 00:02:22,901 --> 00:02:25,403 Ugh! Randy is a terrible name. 51 00:02:31,433 --> 00:02:35,791 "...there is only one thing I know for sure. Turn over." 52 00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,157 I'm an asshole called Randy? This is shit! 53 00:02:40,231 --> 00:02:41,731 [bleep] you, wooden table! 54 00:02:41,803 --> 00:02:45,272 [grunts, screams] 55 00:02:45,349 --> 00:02:48,586 Wait. It doesn't have to be like this. 56 00:02:48,662 --> 00:02:51,631 [cheerful whistled tune] I can change! 57 00:02:51,707 --> 00:02:55,876 Today I am going to be a great man! 58 00:02:57,126 --> 00:03:00,528 - Life is wonderful. - Hey, spare some change, mister? 59 00:03:00,605 --> 00:03:04,775 - Of course, my good man. - Wow! Thanks, mister! 60 00:03:04,855 --> 00:03:07,556 I ask you every day, but this is the first time 61 00:03:07,631 --> 00:03:10,032 you ever gave me anything. 62 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:14,143 To be honest, I-I always thought you were sort of an asshole. 63 00:03:14,222 --> 00:03:15,455 [record scratches] [gasps] 64 00:03:15,526 --> 00:03:17,093 Well, not today. 65 00:03:17,165 --> 00:03:21,535 Today we're going to have fun and be joyful! 66 00:03:21,615 --> 00:03:22,748 What do you want to do? 67 00:03:22,819 --> 00:03:26,655 - Just name it. Anything! - Anything? 68 00:03:26,734 --> 00:03:28,134 [both laughing] 69 00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:29,672 [video game beeping] 70 00:03:29,744 --> 00:03:31,186 [tattoo gun buzzing] 71 00:03:31,191 --> 00:03:38,760 [laughing wildly] 72 00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:45,223 [laughter continues] 73 00:03:45,301 --> 00:03:47,234 [baby crying] 74 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,768 Look at the [bleep] sunset! [laughing] 75 00:03:56,842 --> 00:03:59,877 It's so [bleep] beautiful! 76 00:03:59,953 --> 00:04:02,254 [chuckling] 77 00:04:02,328 --> 00:04:04,229 You know, it's been a perfect day. 78 00:04:04,302 --> 00:04:06,704 I really feel like a new man. 79 00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:09,079 I don't need that stupid note anymore. 80 00:04:09,153 --> 00:04:11,354 I've changed. I'll remember this. 81 00:04:11,428 --> 00:04:14,430 I feel great, and I'm a great person. 82 00:04:14,506 --> 00:04:16,507 Randy is a stupid name, though. 83 00:04:16,579 --> 00:04:17,413 Aah! 84 00:04:19,343 --> 00:04:23,212 [grunting] 85 00:04:28,175 --> 00:04:31,343 "You are an asshole." 86 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:35,496 See you tomorrow, Randy. 87 00:04:35,569 --> 00:04:37,403 [guffaws] 88 00:04:37,476 --> 00:04:40,024 What a stupid name. 89 00:04:41,423 --> 00:04:43,424 Here we go, man. Old school, mano a mano. 90 00:04:43,498 --> 00:04:45,832 - Roy's gonna make... - [phone rings] Hello, triptank. 91 00:04:45,905 --> 00:04:48,841 Oh. Oh, hey. I just wanted to say, like, 92 00:04:48,916 --> 00:04:52,520 my friends and I, we, like, laugh about, you know, like, each other. 93 00:04:52,597 --> 00:04:55,166 We're like, "that's c... " you know, like, "oh, we... 94 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,208 we know that," or, like, "we know what that is." 95 00:04:58,284 --> 00:04:59,551 We're like, um... 96 00:04:59,622 --> 00:05:01,423 so I guess I was just, um, [guys coughing] 97 00:05:01,496 --> 00:05:04,231 I'm not totally sure I remember why I called, 98 00:05:04,306 --> 00:05:07,808 but maybe... [clears throat] is there a way to... 99 00:05:07,885 --> 00:05:10,921 [digital hip-hop music] 100 00:05:13,874 --> 00:05:16,042 Happy birthday, sweetie. 101 00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:17,650 [singsong] Guess what. 102 00:05:17,722 --> 00:05:20,757 - Daddy got you a... - Oh, shit! A pony! 103 00:05:20,832 --> 00:05:21,766 [pony neighs] 104 00:05:21,836 --> 00:05:24,805 Yeah. Yeah! 105 00:05:24,881 --> 00:05:26,081 Yeaaah! 106 00:05:26,152 --> 00:05:28,552 Oh, yeah, mother[bleep]er! 107 00:05:28,627 --> 00:05:31,029 Hi-yi-yi-yi-yah! Ya-ha! 108 00:05:31,103 --> 00:05:33,271 Ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ah! 109 00:05:33,344 --> 00:05:34,744 Mother[bleep]er! 110 00:05:34,817 --> 00:05:36,117 [light piano music] 111 00:05:36,189 --> 00:05:37,555 Hi, what can I get... 112 00:05:37,627 --> 00:05:39,461 I'll give you some time to look over the menu. 113 00:05:39,534 --> 00:05:43,270 Wow. You look great with makeup. 114 00:05:43,348 --> 00:05:46,717 I mean, you always look good. But tonight... wow. 115 00:05:46,793 --> 00:05:50,762 Well, I'm a pisces, so I like to jazz it up sometimes. 116 00:05:50,841 --> 00:05:53,542 Oh, no. Really? I'm a sagittarius. 117 00:05:53,617 --> 00:05:56,019 Sagittarius and pisces don't get along. 118 00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:57,694 Both: Fire and water. 119 00:05:57,766 --> 00:05:58,732 [magical guitar chord] 120 00:05:58,803 --> 00:06:01,805 [romantic rock music] 121 00:06:26,203 --> 00:06:28,204 Why do these keep getting flagged as inappropriate? 122 00:06:28,276 --> 00:06:30,945 This is bullshit. 123 00:06:32,024 --> 00:06:33,190 I love you. 124 00:06:42,863 --> 00:06:46,331 [wails] 125 00:06:46,409 --> 00:06:48,911 Wakka, wakka, here comes Pac-man to bite your ass. 126 00:06:48,986 --> 00:06:50,219 Psh, don't you run away from me. 127 00:06:50,290 --> 00:06:52,925 I'm unstoppable. My power meter's green, bitch. 128 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,100 [phone rings] Hello, Triptank. 129 00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:55,437 Hello, who the [bleep] is this? 130 00:06:55,509 --> 00:06:57,243 Is this the guy that does the cartoons and shit? 131 00:06:57,316 --> 00:06:58,817 - Maybe. - I hate it! 132 00:06:58,888 --> 00:07:01,790 - Okay. - I can't turn it off because the birds, 133 00:07:01,866 --> 00:07:03,465 they go crazy when it's on. 134 00:07:03,537 --> 00:07:05,672 But I can't turn it off because I love the colors! 135 00:07:05,746 --> 00:07:07,279 [laughing hysterically] Do you understand me? 136 00:07:07,351 --> 00:07:09,285 I feel [bleep] crazy! 137 00:07:09,359 --> 00:07:11,694 I can't turn it off, but I can't turn it on! 138 00:07:11,768 --> 00:07:14,803 [digital hip-hop music] 139 00:07:20,423 --> 00:07:24,193 [digital hip-hop music] 140 00:07:24,270 --> 00:07:27,840 - [phone rings] Triptank. - Hello. My name is Salis. 141 00:07:27,918 --> 00:07:31,219 I'm 12, and I would like to see more sketches 142 00:07:31,295 --> 00:07:33,497 with the word [bleep] in 'em. 143 00:07:33,571 --> 00:07:36,506 - Rrrr. - Let me transfer you to that department. 144 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:37,515 Hold, please. 145 00:07:37,586 --> 00:07:40,588 [romantic rock music] 146 00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:43,837 [sighs] I have a headache. 147 00:07:43,909 --> 00:07:46,110 Ugh. [grumbling] 148 00:07:46,184 --> 00:07:49,286 I'm sorry. I can't control my headaches. 149 00:07:49,361 --> 00:07:52,030 Oh, great. So even if I don't want to have sex, 150 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,773 I'm supposed to what... still do it? 151 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,382 Uh, yeah. Yeah, actually. 152 00:07:56,454 --> 00:07:58,622 That's what people do when they're in loving relationships. 153 00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,129 - Uh! - Oh, please. 154 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,869 Think of all the times I've had sex with you when I didn't want to. 155 00:08:02,944 --> 00:08:05,112 - What? - Yeah! 156 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:06,919 [dog barking] [laughing] 157 00:08:11,107 --> 00:08:12,074 [zipper rasps] 158 00:08:12,145 --> 00:08:13,378 Please, not right now. 159 00:08:13,448 --> 00:08:15,516 [snores] 160 00:08:15,590 --> 00:08:17,591 [sucking] 161 00:08:26,597 --> 00:08:28,497 Okay, fair enough. Let's do this. 162 00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:31,405 - But keep it under five. - Yes! 163 00:08:31,481 --> 00:08:33,415 Can we do anal? 164 00:08:33,488 --> 00:08:36,490 [funky digital music] 165 00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:38,920 ? Three aliens ? 166 00:08:38,992 --> 00:08:40,359 ? came from the sky ? 167 00:08:40,431 --> 00:08:41,731 ? the galactic council sent them ? 168 00:08:41,801 --> 00:08:43,236 ? and here's the reason why ? 169 00:08:43,307 --> 00:08:44,841 ? their mission is to study ? 170 00:08:44,913 --> 00:08:47,715 ? Earth's most average guy ? 171 00:08:47,790 --> 00:08:49,324 ? to see if humans are worth saving ? 172 00:08:49,397 --> 00:08:52,698 ? or if everyone has to die ? 173 00:08:52,925 --> 00:08:54,627 Wait, what? 174 00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:57,869 I'm pretty sure it was corked or something, man. 175 00:08:57,943 --> 00:09:00,378 Oh, yeah? Well, why'd you drink 3/4 of it? 176 00:09:00,453 --> 00:09:04,489 Look, I really need [chuckles] this $5.00 back, okay? 177 00:09:04,568 --> 00:09:06,335 It's been a-a rough couple months, man. 178 00:09:06,408 --> 00:09:09,877 - Jeff? [yelps] - Linda! You look amazing. 179 00:09:09,953 --> 00:09:11,354 How have you been? 180 00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:13,494 I think this might be the busiest week of my life. 181 00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:15,034 I've got a job interview, a doctor's appointment, 182 00:09:15,106 --> 00:09:17,441 - my friend's bachelorette... - Hey, you wanna grab lunch 183 00:09:17,448 --> 00:09:18,781 or coffee or something? 184 00:09:18,852 --> 00:09:20,420 - Uh! - Chet! 185 00:09:20,491 --> 00:09:22,592 Let's drink this bubbly and get snuggly. 186 00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:25,601 - [laughs] I've gotta go. - Yeah, I should probably go. 187 00:09:25,677 --> 00:09:28,479 I've got... I got a pretty busy week too. 188 00:09:28,555 --> 00:09:29,988 [bird chirps] 189 00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:31,694 [slurping] 190 00:09:31,766 --> 00:09:32,966 [sobbing] 191 00:09:33,037 --> 00:09:34,572 Hey, Mr. Sniffles. 192 00:09:34,643 --> 00:09:39,046 We got something special for our favorite special guy! 193 00:09:39,126 --> 00:09:42,328 I told you guys no more surprise gifts. 194 00:09:42,405 --> 00:09:45,106 Well, something tells me you're gonna love this one, 195 00:09:45,180 --> 00:09:48,149 'cause you've already loved her for five years! 196 00:09:48,225 --> 00:09:51,494 Oh, my god, no! We need to undo this immediately! 197 00:09:51,571 --> 00:09:53,338 Well, I guess I could just clear her memories 198 00:09:53,411 --> 00:09:55,278 from the last 24 hours. 199 00:09:55,351 --> 00:09:56,451 - Agh! - Oops. 200 00:09:56,522 --> 00:09:58,590 - Linda! - Okay, I see what I did. 201 00:09:58,664 --> 00:09:59,931 [sobbing] Oh, what? 202 00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:01,969 What, is she dead? Is she dead? 203 00:10:02,043 --> 00:10:04,477 - Is she dead? - No, no, no. 204 00:10:04,551 --> 00:10:07,086 She'll come back to in a couple of days. 205 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:10,597 - Maybe a month or two, tops. - Oh, Jesus Christ. 206 00:10:10,674 --> 00:10:13,508 She had so much important stuff to do this week, guys. 207 00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:15,150 What are we gonna do? 208 00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:19,865 I don't know. Are you sure this is gonna work? 209 00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:22,541 - Totally. - Are you sure she's gonna be okay? 210 00:10:22,616 --> 00:10:24,984 Oh, for suresies. 211 00:10:26,698 --> 00:10:28,666 [upbeat rock music] 212 00:10:28,739 --> 00:10:30,473 Come on, Linda. [groaning] 213 00:10:35,497 --> 00:10:36,897 [women shouting] Come on, Linda. 214 00:10:36,968 --> 00:10:39,970 - Get into it! - Whoo-hoo! 215 00:10:41,685 --> 00:10:45,121 And I also speak un poquito... de Esp... 216 00:10:45,198 --> 00:10:47,132 Wonderful! 217 00:10:49,447 --> 00:10:54,151 [effeminate voice] And I'll have the 32-ounce angus steak, 218 00:10:54,231 --> 00:10:56,832 - uh, rare. - Whoa! [laughs] 219 00:10:56,908 --> 00:10:59,776 You're not pregnant, are you, babe? I keep telling you 220 00:10:59,850 --> 00:11:01,485 it isn't an effective form of birth control 221 00:11:01,557 --> 00:11:03,792 to shoot it all over your face every time. 222 00:11:03,865 --> 00:11:05,099 But you just won't listen to me. 223 00:11:05,171 --> 00:11:06,438 [Jeff's voice] I'm not pregnant, okay? 224 00:11:06,509 --> 00:11:07,875 Can we please talk about something else? 225 00:11:07,947 --> 00:11:10,115 Yikes! What's up with your voice? 226 00:11:10,189 --> 00:11:13,425 You got a sore throat? Or something? 227 00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:16,269 [coughs] Yeah, yeah. I, uh, I think I do. 228 00:11:16,345 --> 00:11:19,547 I told you, you gotta stop deep-throating me so much. 229 00:11:19,623 --> 00:11:21,991 But you always have to have it your way, don't you? 230 00:11:22,065 --> 00:11:24,349 Hey, dude, this isn't appropriate 231 00:11:24,357 --> 00:11:26,641 dinner conversation, all right? 232 00:11:26,715 --> 00:11:28,816 Look, I think we should break up. 233 00:11:28,891 --> 00:11:32,426 - I'm still in love with Jeff. - What? Jeff? 234 00:11:32,503 --> 00:11:34,070 You said his dick was so small, you got... 235 00:11:34,143 --> 00:11:36,511 That's a lie! I never said Jeff's dick was small! 236 00:11:36,584 --> 00:11:38,452 - Take it easy, babe! - You [bleep] liar! 237 00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:39,591 I won't hit a woman... 238 00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:40,495 - Oh! Oh! - Oh! 239 00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:42,301 Okay! That's it. 240 00:11:42,372 --> 00:11:43,339 Gah! 241 00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,643 Gah! Aah! 242 00:11:45,716 --> 00:11:47,517 [wailing] I'm a bad person! 243 00:11:47,590 --> 00:11:50,326 I can't believe I don't remember any of this. 244 00:11:50,401 --> 00:11:54,071 Yeah. I guess he must've hit you pretty hard. 245 00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:55,248 [slurps] 246 00:11:55,319 --> 00:11:56,886 [cell phone rings] Hello? 247 00:11:56,958 --> 00:11:59,126 Hi, Linda. It's Dr. Lynn. 248 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:03,236 Uh, we're gonna need you to come in for a follow-up. 249 00:12:07,530 --> 00:12:11,833 - Is this some sort of sick joke? - Honey, let me take care of this. 250 00:12:11,913 --> 00:12:14,047 Son, are you on the peyote? I'll understand. 251 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,621 No! Veronica is very nice. 252 00:12:16,696 --> 00:12:19,365 We're in love. We've been in love for a while. 253 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:22,508 Jesus Christ, it talks. Will wonders never cease? 254 00:12:22,584 --> 00:12:26,120 - This isn't normal. - Come on, now, who are we to judge? 255 00:12:26,198 --> 00:12:30,434 What is normal? He's just... exploring. 256 00:12:30,513 --> 00:12:32,013 I want one. [hyperventilating] 257 00:12:32,086 --> 00:12:35,054 Mom, calm down. We live together. Okay? 258 00:12:35,131 --> 00:12:38,233 I'm dreaming. That's it! I must be dreaming. 259 00:12:38,308 --> 00:12:40,143 [chortling] 260 00:12:40,215 --> 00:12:42,383 It's all a dream! See? 261 00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:45,391 No! [screams] 262 00:12:45,467 --> 00:12:47,934 [sobs] 263 00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:50,378 It's okay. She'll warm up to you. 264 00:12:50,451 --> 00:12:53,119 - Also, I'm pregnant. - What? 265 00:12:53,196 --> 00:12:56,298 I said I want one. Now! 266 00:12:56,373 --> 00:12:59,375 [upbeat rock music] 267 00:13:01,325 --> 00:13:03,292 [buzzer] This is bullshit. 268 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:06,401 [digital hip-hop music] 269 00:13:10,796 --> 00:13:13,831 [digital hip-hop music] 270 00:13:15,815 --> 00:13:18,917 [crowd murmuring] Okay, behold Erebos of Xenos, 271 00:13:18,992 --> 00:13:24,564 divine prophet and eighth emperor of the 33 dimensions. 272 00:13:24,647 --> 00:13:27,148 Hey, guys. [applause] My love is with you. 273 00:13:27,222 --> 00:13:29,523 [crowd cheers] 274 00:13:29,597 --> 00:13:31,364 Wait, wait, wait. 275 00:13:31,437 --> 00:13:34,238 Okay, I don't really have much on the docket today. 276 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,983 The hand soap in my enlightenment pod is out again, 277 00:13:37,057 --> 00:13:38,925 so, uh, Tony, that's your job. 278 00:13:38,998 --> 00:13:40,632 Will you get to that, honey? 279 00:13:40,705 --> 00:13:42,171 Uh, what else? 280 00:13:42,243 --> 00:13:46,346 Our new website is going live on Friday, so check that out, everyone. 281 00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:49,460 And I think that's pretty much it for me, 282 00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,103 so unless anybody else... 283 00:13:51,176 --> 00:13:52,810 Ooh, lots of hands. 284 00:13:52,882 --> 00:13:54,249 Uh, Travis. 285 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:57,122 So you said that Imratu the space dragon, 286 00:13:57,198 --> 00:13:59,365 who I love, was supposed to come yesterday 287 00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:03,141 and transport us all to the eternal dimension of peace. 288 00:14:03,219 --> 00:14:05,020 Okay, and you guys, uh... 289 00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:07,861 You guys are upset because Imratu the space dragon 290 00:14:07,936 --> 00:14:09,637 didn't... didn't show up? 291 00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:11,611 Okay, well, it's just that a lot of us castrated 292 00:14:11,617 --> 00:14:13,517 ourselves because you said that's what Imratu wanted, 293 00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:15,091 and the rest of us drank poison. 294 00:14:15,163 --> 00:14:16,731 [whistling] 295 00:14:16,802 --> 00:14:18,336 O-okay, we're s... l-listen. 296 00:14:18,407 --> 00:14:21,309 I think the focus has gone all on the space dragon thing, 297 00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:24,054 and it's not about the other cool stuff we do around here. 298 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:25,529 We never really do anything except sit around 299 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,968 and talk about Imratu the space dragon while you 300 00:14:27,976 --> 00:14:30,343 - have sex with our wives. - We have a pool table. 301 00:14:30,417 --> 00:14:33,286 Some of us are just a liiittle frustrated because 302 00:14:33,361 --> 00:14:35,846 it kinda seems like you might've made the whole thing up. 303 00:14:35,888 --> 00:14:36,104 [collective gasp] 304 00:14:36,172 --> 00:14:37,438 Wow, Tony. That sucks, man. 305 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:40,713 That really sucks, guys. That's a bad attitude. 306 00:14:40,789 --> 00:14:42,523 I really don't want to have to do this, 307 00:14:42,596 --> 00:14:45,832 but I'm gonna have to ask Petey to drink poison. 308 00:14:45,907 --> 00:14:47,174 [collective gasp] 309 00:14:47,246 --> 00:14:52,383 Poor, innocent Petey. Never question anything. 310 00:14:52,465 --> 00:14:56,301 Everybody, I did that to Petey because I love Tony. 311 00:14:56,379 --> 00:14:58,246 In fact, I love all of you so much, 312 00:14:58,318 --> 00:15:01,821 I'm going to share with you my new vision. [beep] 313 00:15:01,899 --> 00:15:03,966 The gaze of my fourth eye has pierced 314 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,208 the unfathomable multiverse 315 00:15:06,281 --> 00:15:09,683 and seen a vision of a great and wondrous... 316 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,529 space puma! 317 00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:14,238 Like the space puma you said wanted us to clean 318 00:15:14,311 --> 00:15:15,544 your garage last summer? 319 00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:16,781 [crowd murmuring] Uh... yeah, okay. 320 00:15:16,854 --> 00:15:19,922 I know the answer to this question, but as a test of your faith, 321 00:15:19,998 --> 00:15:22,766 which space animals have I already used? 322 00:15:22,842 --> 00:15:24,509 Space puma, space jaguar, space lynx, 323 00:15:24,581 --> 00:15:25,848 space mouse, space squirrel, 324 00:15:25,919 --> 00:15:27,453 space dolphin, space wolphin, 325 00:15:27,525 --> 00:15:28,992 space gorilla, space chinchilla, 326 00:15:29,063 --> 00:15:31,064 space pig, space human. 327 00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:32,906 [chuckles] I know them all. 328 00:15:32,977 --> 00:15:34,412 Because while I was boning Neil's wife, 329 00:15:34,483 --> 00:15:37,419 I had a second vision, more important than the first. 330 00:15:37,494 --> 00:15:41,397 I beheld a glorious space alligator... 331 00:15:41,476 --> 00:15:43,744 [collective gasp] hurtling through the cosmos, 332 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:48,387 coming to transport you all to the dimension of total joy. 333 00:15:48,468 --> 00:15:51,670 And his name... is Mumratu. 334 00:15:51,745 --> 00:15:53,613 Mumratu, the space alligator? 335 00:15:53,687 --> 00:15:57,290 That sounds very, very similar to Imratu, the space dragon. 336 00:15:57,367 --> 00:16:00,535 They are brothers. Their last name is "ratu." 337 00:16:00,612 --> 00:16:04,415 - And when will that be, prophet? - Well, you'll have to ask him... 338 00:16:04,493 --> 00:16:05,726 [whispers] when he gets here. 339 00:16:05,797 --> 00:16:07,798 He's actually coming here. 340 00:16:07,871 --> 00:16:08,771 [cheers and applause] 341 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:12,345 - Yay, Erebos! - Oh, yeah. It's awesome. 342 00:16:12,422 --> 00:16:16,290 Now rise, my children, and go forth. 343 00:16:16,369 --> 00:16:18,971 [RandB music playing] Except, uh, for Neil's wife. 344 00:16:23,227 --> 00:16:24,527 Roy's hatin' on this [bleep] game. 345 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:26,233 It's rigged, man. This thing is bleeding me out. 346 00:16:26,305 --> 00:16:28,172 Picking my goddamn pocket. 347 00:16:28,245 --> 00:16:29,412 Ben, I need another [bleep] quarter. 348 00:16:29,484 --> 00:16:31,151 Hurry up, man. Dig deep, brother. 349 00:16:31,223 --> 00:16:33,124 [phone rings] Triptank. How can I help you? 350 00:16:33,197 --> 00:16:36,365 My name is Robert Rill. I just moved here from Sydney. 351 00:16:36,441 --> 00:16:40,210 I live in a studio apartment. I've really enjoyed the show. 352 00:16:40,288 --> 00:16:43,223 I really appreciate the masturbation bits. 353 00:16:43,299 --> 00:16:45,567 [babbling] Can relate to a lot of that. 354 00:16:45,642 --> 00:16:47,276 [laughs] It's just been hard. 355 00:16:47,347 --> 00:16:49,549 I've just moved here, so I don't know a lot of people. 356 00:16:49,622 --> 00:16:50,956 Need to put you on hold for one sec. 357 00:16:51,028 --> 00:16:52,962 Oh, god, he got me. He got me in a chokehold, man. 358 00:16:53,035 --> 00:16:54,468 God damn it. 359 00:16:54,540 --> 00:16:56,140 He got the Roy. Son of a bitch. 360 00:16:56,213 --> 00:16:58,414 He ain't gonna let go. I can't shake him loose, man. 361 00:16:58,487 --> 00:17:00,388 Oh, my god, I can see my goddamn... 362 00:17:00,461 --> 00:17:02,996 Bring me a quarter. My life blood's draining out. 363 00:17:03,071 --> 00:17:06,107 [digital hip-hop music] 364 00:17:08,926 --> 00:17:11,928 [triumphant music] 365 00:17:18,962 --> 00:17:20,128 Idiot. 366 00:17:20,199 --> 00:17:22,633 - Ow. - You've gotten sardines all over my sandals. 367 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,909 - Clean it up! - Ooh! 368 00:17:23,980 --> 00:17:25,580 Yes, my lord. Mm. 369 00:17:25,652 --> 00:17:26,719 [slurping] 370 00:17:26,790 --> 00:17:28,090 [chortling] 371 00:17:28,162 --> 00:17:29,696 - Ugh, you pervert. - Ow. 372 00:17:29,767 --> 00:17:31,936 - Where's your owner? - Oh, I'm free. 373 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,077 My owner died from an intestinal disorder. 374 00:17:34,151 --> 00:17:35,784 He ate some bad giraffe. 375 00:17:35,857 --> 00:17:37,757 Ow. My name is Hilarius. 376 00:17:37,830 --> 00:17:39,697 [giggling, honking horn] 377 00:17:39,771 --> 00:17:40,771 At your service. 378 00:17:40,841 --> 00:17:45,178 - Idiot. Carry my lunch. - I'm here to see Sextus Scribonis. 379 00:17:45,258 --> 00:17:47,792 He is the dominus hominem of the Colosseum. 380 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:51,302 - That means boss of everything. - I know what it means! 381 00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:54,314 I plan to be the dominus "ominem" of the Colosseum myself. 382 00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:57,426 Well, I'll let you cut in front of me for an artichoke. 383 00:17:57,502 --> 00:17:59,837 How 'bout I don't stick a dagger in your fat face? 384 00:17:59,911 --> 00:18:02,312 - Deal. - 99, 100. 385 00:18:02,386 --> 00:18:03,921 Let's go to cafeteria. 386 00:18:03,992 --> 00:18:05,593 - Yeah, it's meatball Monday. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 387 00:18:05,665 --> 00:18:08,500 Who put the sex show after the hippo massacre? 388 00:18:08,576 --> 00:18:10,877 It'll stink of blood, and there will be flies everywhere! 389 00:18:10,951 --> 00:18:13,986 No, you said it was funny when the flies bite the guys' balls 390 00:18:14,062 --> 00:18:16,698 in the orgy rehearsal. You really laugh. Aah! 391 00:18:16,772 --> 00:18:20,375 How can the upper deck see flies biting a guy's balls, hmm? 392 00:18:20,452 --> 00:18:23,921 You've got to play to the cheap seats! 393 00:18:23,998 --> 00:18:25,432 Aah! I sorry, I sorry. 394 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:28,372 - I am Lucius. - And my name is Hilarius. 395 00:18:28,448 --> 00:18:30,182 [giggling, honking horn] 396 00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:33,990 Ah, thank Apollo. Two applicants without typhoid. 397 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:38,738 Well, let's show you around this crazy madhouse we call backstage. 398 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:40,419 [lion growls] 399 00:18:40,492 --> 00:18:44,628 So you want to cut through the neck, visualize it to the other side. 400 00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:45,807 [screams] 401 00:18:45,877 --> 00:18:47,043 Oh, no, no, no, no. 402 00:18:47,116 --> 00:18:50,618 Visualize the point on the other side through the neck. 403 00:18:50,694 --> 00:18:53,997 [grunts] See? A-smooth. 404 00:18:54,073 --> 00:18:55,307 [groans] 405 00:18:55,379 --> 00:18:58,414 [digital hip-hop music] 406 00:19:02,044 --> 00:19:05,046 [digital pop music] 407 00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:09,731 [crowd shouting] 408 00:19:09,807 --> 00:19:14,576 Oh! Bravo! I love how he splurted everywhere! 409 00:19:14,657 --> 00:19:17,559 So tell me why you should be employed 410 00:19:17,635 --> 00:19:21,237 by myself and the great Roman Colosseum. 411 00:19:21,314 --> 00:19:22,748 I have a reference from the greatest promoter 412 00:19:22,820 --> 00:19:24,987 of all time... Flavius Arianus. 413 00:19:25,061 --> 00:19:27,529 What "Flavius" was his anus? 414 00:19:27,604 --> 00:19:28,604 Oh! [horn honks] 415 00:19:28,675 --> 00:19:31,343 You dare mock Flavius Arianus? 416 00:19:31,418 --> 00:19:34,353 I should have you catapulted into the cheap seats. 417 00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:35,896 Ooh, that's a good idea. 418 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,668 Get some papyrus. Somebody write that down. 419 00:19:37,741 --> 00:19:39,909 But, but, but, but, first things first. 420 00:19:39,982 --> 00:19:42,884 Lucius, are you ready to see your new office? 421 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:44,227 [hinges creak] 422 00:19:44,299 --> 00:19:45,899 This seems like a strange place for an o... 423 00:19:45,971 --> 00:19:47,405 Aah! [crowd cheers] 424 00:19:47,476 --> 00:19:51,579 - Oh, Apollo, I love artichokes. - Aah! 425 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,260 - Would you like to see your office? - Oh, I don't need an office. 426 00:19:54,335 --> 00:19:55,668 Aah... 427 00:19:55,739 --> 00:19:58,541 [crowd cheers] 428 00:19:58,617 --> 00:20:00,550 Oopsie. Dropped an artichoke. 429 00:20:00,623 --> 00:20:03,292 - Near my pinky toe. - Yes, my lord! 430 00:20:03,367 --> 00:20:04,266 [slurping] 431 00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:05,904 Oh, Dorothy. 432 00:20:05,976 --> 00:20:08,978 [funky digital music] 433 00:20:11,998 --> 00:20:14,066 Drop a hammer. Here it comes! 434 00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:17,642 Boom! God damn it, I kill at this game. [laughs] I am bad. 435 00:20:17,718 --> 00:20:18,485 Triptank. How can I help you? 436 00:20:18,556 --> 00:20:21,891 Hey, man, this is doctor father brother Travis calling. 437 00:20:21,968 --> 00:20:25,003 [chickens clucking] That was a hell of a skit. 438 00:20:25,079 --> 00:20:26,212 Man, that chicken's hot. 439 00:20:26,283 --> 00:20:28,150 You gotta show more of that chicken, 440 00:20:28,223 --> 00:20:29,991 maybe do one where he's nekkid, 441 00:20:30,064 --> 00:20:32,531 and another guy is stickin' his pecker in him. 442 00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:35,274 - Hold, please. - I'm kicking ass! 443 00:20:35,349 --> 00:20:39,486 You have reached level 1,000. Join us on the game grid. 444 00:20:39,564 --> 00:20:43,501 Man... Man, you out there, man? 445 00:20:43,579 --> 00:20:45,913 Gaga, wow wow, ooh mama, wow wow wow wow. 446 00:20:45,988 --> 00:20:49,624 [game babbling indistinctly] 447 00:20:49,701 --> 00:20:52,102 [phone rings] 448 00:20:52,177 --> 00:20:53,644 Triptank. How can I help you? 449 00:20:53,694 --> 00:20:58,244 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0